i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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