She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
