I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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