Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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