You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
