letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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