I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
you win again, gameday.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
