Swine flu. Run for my life!
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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