I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
