are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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