you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
