I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
