why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
