So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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