Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Randomize
