Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
