you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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