i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
