How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
