We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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