The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
