i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize
