I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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