Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
