Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
