its not stalking. its research.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We have started to decorate penises.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
