I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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