I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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