So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
