no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
