Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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