Since when is my name a synonym for head?
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
