We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
