mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
