I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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