apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Randomize
