I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
