How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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