Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
