so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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