If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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