do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
