can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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