If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
he fucked my hip out of place.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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