Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
my phone needs a breathalizer
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
