you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
