Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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