Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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