she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Randomize
