I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
