So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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