It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
We're too hungover to prance.
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