Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Don't EVER smell your tampon
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
