Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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