if you like me you must not know who I am
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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